Writing an obituary on someone with whom one had a long, intimate association is not an easy affair. Words go astray even if it is too short. I met Rajeevan in 1977, when he joined for his undergraduate program in Physics at Guruvayurappan College, Calicut. I too was a student at the same college, doing my degree programme in Zoology. It was the post-Emergency period, when student politics was re-emerging on campuses after two years of silence. Students still in their teens were in search of student organisations with which they could affiliate. But there were a few in the college like us who were politically left-leaning but never wanted to affiliate themselves with any student organisation. Members of this small group identified themselves as ‘free left’. A sort of “avant-garde” group, they were slightly ahead of their time in the college.

We were not academically good students. Not bad either. We had love for books that had nothing to do with the courses we studied in the college. Imprint, edited by Nissim Ezekiel, was the literary magazine we were comfortable with. We did attempt reading heavy stuff. But it is doubtful whether we really understood the head or tail of such writings! Looking back, I feel how ridiculous we all were, attempting to read Tin Drum of Günter Grass at eighteen! College life was incredibly adventurous. Though our group did not have any political affiliation, we were sympathetic to one political outfit or the other. Most of the members of this intimate group had some sympathy for the conventional Left or with Maoism or with the Nav Nirman movement of Jayaprakash Narayan. Or a combination of all these!! But to our surprise, Rajeevan never had any sympathy for all these organisations; but he was a Congress sympathiser. Despite being “left leaning”, he always had a strong conviction that the Congress represented India. Until his death on November 2, he held on to this view and never hesitated to express it openly. I have been reading many obituary notes on Rajeevan written by friends on Facebook and on other social media platforms. Many have mentioned his “naxalite” past. But Rajeevan never was a sympathiser of any of the innumerable faction of the naxalites in Kerala. Of course, he did have friends who were insanely passionate about dreaming of an armed rebellion in India. He didn’t have any sympathy for the conventional Left either.

Rajeevan had genuine love for letters. His passion was poetry. As a student he used to write brilliant poems and read it out to me particularly. He knew that I do not have any taste for poetry, particularly for contemporary Malayalam writings then. But my comments mattered for him. Most of his poems were sent to the Veekshanam, the weekly magazine of the Congress in Kerala. We used to make fun of him for sending such lovely poems to Veekshanam, instead of Mathrubhumi weekly. Perhaps due to his political sympathy for the Congress. I still remember a lovely poem that he wrote for Veekshanam in 1979. The poem titled “Skylabinodu” was later translated into English by me and sent to Kamala Das who was editing the poetry section of Mirror. I titled it “Ode to Skylab”. Highly impressed by the poem, Kamala Das wrote a letter to me asking me a few more translations of Rajeevan’s poems to fill Mirror’s demy one-eighth sized full page! However, I could not do it then. However I happen to be the first to translate Rajeevan’s work into English.

Soon after graduation, we had to look for options for our higher studies. I had plans to go for Masters in English Literature, though I never had any taste for writing. I loved literature. That’s all. Rajeevan did have love for writing and literature, but he surprised all of us by opting for Chartered Accountancy. He took up an  “articleship” in a Chartered Accountants’ firm in Kozhikode. Of course, he did drop out after spending a year there and opted for Masters in English Literature later. Meanwhile, I got fascinated by Anthropology and dropped out of literature and opted for Masters in my newly developed passion. Rajeevan loved Indian writing in English, particularly poetry. He had genuine intertest in Jayanta Mahapatra’s poems and wanted to do a Ph.D. on him. I am not sure whether he began his research on Jayanta Mahapatra. But I have seen the synopsis that he had drafted.

During the prime of our youth there was hardly any day when we did not meet in Calicut city. But, later, when priorities changed, our meetings turned occasional. But mutual concerns never changed. We used to have long conversations over the phone. His last call to me was in June this year. He was telling me about his health issues and how he ended up undergoing regular dialysis. I promised that I would come and meet him in a day or two with my nephew, a Nephrologist. But I never did it. I never wanted to see Rajeevan sick. But I never kept my promise. Rajeevan never called me too.

Related Story: “Don’t be afraid, Be bold” This was T.P Rajeevan’s Creative message, says Anita Nair

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